Lately, I have been evaluating the power and balance of self-promotion versus “the work.” Undoubtedly, public relations, marketing and self-promotion is important as it educates the public on your product/service and why it solves a particular problem. Even Bill Gates once famously quoted that, “if I was down to my last dollar, I would spend it on PR.” Nonetheless, putting in the work is equally important because at the end of the day, the product/service must function and deliver on the promises made to the populace.
To be honest, I have always been fascinated by people who say less and produce more. Maybe it’s because my immediate family is quiet with a work ethic that more than takes care of family business. Perhaps it has to do with our attraction to “the opposites;” humans have an innate tendency to connect with people who are on the reversed scale of introversion/extroversion and personality. Subconsciously, this phenomenon can be arguably attributed to our natural ability of completion — there is a human need to reflect on our own weakness when we see another person possessing that same weakness… as a strength. Regardless of the reasoning, there have been some of my personal #ShowYourWork All-Stars that have embodied the spirit of achieving without much aggrandizement.
Willie D: Admittedly, I don’t know much about the origin of his catchphrase “No Mo’ Talk,” but I know and feel exactly what it means. If you have ever listened to a Willie D interview or heard him rap, you know that his commentary is straight like that!
Kawhi Leonard: Over the years, he has become more of a household name without uttering more than 500 words in a year in mandated, NBA interviews. The “King of Athletic Stoicism” accomplished this through his play and achievements (2-time NBA Champion) as he tends to elevate his play and the play of others through lead-by-example.
Kevin Samuels: The first time I saw someone tout the #ShowYourWork hashtag on YouTube was this fashion/lifestyle expert. He is an enthusiast of “Suit Saturdays” and regularly challenges men to compete with their contemporaries and within the arena of Corporate America without giving up.
Sterling Sharpe: The older brother of NFL Hall of Famer and sports personality Shannon Sharpe, Sterling went on a self-imposed silence from his team and the media as a response to his head coach. What happened? Well, the next season, he led the NFL in yards, catches and touchdowns as Green Bay’s silent assassin.
Marshawn Lynch: Ironically, all that comes to mind when his name is mentioned is “enough said.” As his career on and off the field has dictated, Marshawn is “all about that action, Boss.”
In addition, I have undergone a transformation of learning the nuances of more effective communication and the art of timing when endeavoring in PR, marketing and “humble brag.” One of my favorite books is Robert Greene’s classic The 48 Laws of Power. In particular, Law 4 (Always Say Less Than Necessary) resonates with me more deeply than ever as I am hyper-focused on the work.
When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear. Even if you are saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague, open-ended and sphinxlike. The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.
In business and in life, people tend to gravitate to the person that speaks less because their appearance subconsciously makes you believe that they are more powerful and in control. If the body of work from this person is also consistent and of value, then their achievements speak and represent them in lieu of their loquaciousness. As a result, these individuals gradually gain a reputation for the quality of work where people will spread the news as an unintended proxy. Now, that’s remarkable — to leverage the voice of others to speak about what you represent.
“You have two ears and one mouth for a reason”
When I was able to talk up until the age of 5, I did not speak much to the public (maybe a bit more to family members). My cousin Nicol was my unofficial spokesperson. If I needed something, she would speak up on my behalf. If I needed to discuss something, she would be my confidant. If people couldn’t figure out why I was upset/mad/crying, she would provide everyone the diagnosis with the calmness of a physician. However, my aunt decided to return to her native North Carolina and settle in Durham, leaving me without my best friend and favorite PR specialist.
My mom and my stepfather were in for a rude awakening because “The Mouth” known as Justin Tyler emerged from the horizon. A setback now morphed into an opportunity for me to share knowledge, discuss ideas and provide commentary about life. My family (mom, stepdad and brother) were more quiet, conservative and only spoke when they felt necessary. Conversely, I spoke when I wanted — anyplace, anytime, anywhere. One day, while driving in the car with my mom, my penchant for talking too much finally drove my mom crazy and she belted her now-famous quote to me, “Boy, you have two ears and one mouth for a reason. You know that, right?” For some reason, the talking stopped dead in its tracks as I reflected for a bit while looking out the passenger seat window. It finally hit me; perhaps, I can gain more by listening instead of talking.
As I matured into a teenager and high school student, her words and the collective actions of my family resonated more. This social proof was doubled-down when I met my best friend in prep school, Brie-El Parker, who was a quiet, dependable and reflective young man who regularly did his talking through his actions. I was intrigued by his ability to move in and out of diverse crowds with the utmost respect and attention given to him, especially when he spoke. He wasn’t a closet orator or anything like that, but since he didn’t speak in frivolity or in frequency, his peers actively listened to him. He was the “glue” to many social groups in the age of AOL Instant Messenger (AIM) and pre-social media; he was the connector and driving force to organize group outings or serve as a trusted source to confide in. Up close and personal, I thought to myself, “If he was a supply, then he would be in high demand” because the masses tend to ignore someone who always shares information versus the person who strategically selects when to share based on the circumstance. And that’s exactly what happened with him — his silence and his words held more weight than some of the most popular students.
Say Less and Do More
Conceal your weapon: Keeping your information, current developments or future plans under wraps allows you to dictate the timing behind when to share it. If you share too early, perhaps the timing proves a bit premature and now appears a hidden timeline for you to publicly achieve within a certain period of time. Generally, regret replaces the excitement and control that you had previously because once the cat is out of the bag, it’s too difficult to reign that same cat back into the same bag.
Build your social base: The key to relationship-building can be revealed in your patience to actively listen. Oftentimes, people complain that their spouse or partner, friends or co-workers don’t listen enough and fail to see the situation from a different circumstance. Well, it is difficult to move off our porch in order to fully enter someone’s world. Yet, if we make a conscious choice to act, active listening allows us to settle into the person’s existence for some time to tangibly understand and connect to what’s valuable for him/her. This happens so sparsely that it seems like a much-needed relief to feel respected and heard.
“The Switch” — For a second, just imagine if you are not talking. What would happen? That’s right — you would be doing! The switch happens so seamlessly when a person or place pivots from the PR, pontification and the garrulous suspects of the workplace. Instead, this energy is contained within the work and builds up to the right time(s) to announce information to the public. The magic of the “underpromise and overdeliver” is in full effect.
In closing, I want to make sure that I am in alignment with the reading audience. In no way am I espousing that everyone should keep quiet all the time. At different points in a day, a week, a month and a year, you will be compelled to share thoughts, beliefs, information, facts and opinions to varying audiences, especially if you are in a managerial or leadership role. Yet, a potent elixir for over-talking exists when a person learns to master the mouth in exchange for learning between the ears. In fact, the reformed talking head that was once me has discovered that the listener gains more information and power from saying less. Moreover, in business, an unspoken bond of trust and understanding develops between the talker and the listener that can be effectively leveraged for better communication and more synergetic cross-functional team activity, among other benefits. Thus, lean into the influence of listening and remain steadfast to #ShowYourWork over